Leave the memories alone
by buakaw
Summary: After high school, HTT attains a huge but short-lived success. Business, fame and inner turmoil causes the band to break up. Years later,Ritsu, an employee in a small music shop, finds herself thinking about the past.
1. Who knew?

_Ok, this is my first attempt of writing a fanfiction,so be clement. The story will be in Ritsu POV (except future changes) and there will be shoujo ai in the later chapters,so be warned._

_After high school, HTT attains a huge but short-lived success. Business, fame and inner turmoil causes the band to break up. After that, everyone goes their separate ways._

_Years later, Ritsu,now employed in a small music shop, finds herself thinking about the past. _

_Will destiny bring together again the lazy worker, the international popstar, the rich heiress, the absent minded pastry-chef and the underground music guitarist?_

"That's a Noble & Cooley SS Maple Classic Snare Drum . It's a very good product, and few drummers don't own at least one of these. I'm sure you would find it of your liking, especially if you are a beginner. What do you think of that, little one?." I said with a grin, barging in the little kid who was holding the piece. He glanced nervously at me, gulping ,before putting the snare drum back at its place. The next moment he was gone, hiding behind his mother legs.

I sighed in annoyance. If I was going to have a client today, he didn't seem to be the one: I was particularly bad at this kind of work, and many times over I wondered why the boss continued to keep me, against the odds. I didn't posses the natural courtesy nor the patience to deal with the clients, not to say that I lacked a qualification of any sort. Very frequently I cracked lame jokes and created antics that no one found funny beside me to attract the clients, with scarce success. The co-workers, a round music nerd and a part-time university student, endured with that and went on, most of the time...

"Ritsu, what the heck? It's not even noon and you already scared off two people! How many times do I have to tell you to shut your mouth? Damn, you have to help them, not to jump on them. If you note that they are lost in their thoughts, wait the right moment to make yourself seen, instead of assail them!" whispered Kaneda, the university student.

He was somewhat of a perfectionist, and a huge pain in the ass, if you understand what I mean. He sometimes reminded me of the most annoying part of Mio and Azusa, and so I acted accordingly. His stuck up, holier than thou attitude often get on my nerves, but I wasn't the type to throw a hissy fit about that. Whereas the majority of people would smack the moron on the head, I used others, more refined ways to deal with him.

With a sly smile, I threw my arm around his shoulders, and speaking boldly told him I said "Ka-chan doesn't have to be jealous of me because I pay attention to the clients, it's only work for me. I'm sure Ka-chan know better! I wait for the day he' ll stop being a grumpy bear and will find the courage to embrace his feelings!"

I concluded, mimicking the sound of a kiss. If it wasn't for the crimson that spreaded trough his cheeks, his physical reaction was enough to made me burst out laughing: he immediately jumped away from me ,as if he was bitten by a shark, and almost tripped in a bunch of boxes.

"D-dont call me Ka-chan, and stop acting like a idiot,we are have an image to defend!" He stuttered, losing completely his smug tone.

People were so easy to embarrass, especially men! I've only found it out in University, but with a bit of wit and sexual innuendo even the more restrained guy would practically lose himself. So I immediately learnt, and quickly added it to my repertoire. Being delectable wasn't something I usually was, but sometimes trying was worth it.

Since he noted that I was practically cracking up, with no signal of listening to him, he added, now more angry than embarassed "I-idiot, you never change, do you?"

Our power dynamic was this way, and I secretly enjoyed it. It reminded of times in which being smacked in the head and being happy about it was the norm, in which I thought nothing could change and everything would stay the same, no matter what.

_Damn, if I miss them..._

Slowly, I stopped laughing, assuming a pensive pose.

It wasn't very often that I allowed myself to think about the past: I was a person of action, and struggling with emotions, past emotion additionally, wasn't something I was used to, wasn't something that I permitted myself.

The times following HTT break-up were some of the darkest parts of my life, a portion of memories that I tried to bury away without being quite successful about it.

"Now what?"

He asked pointedly, noticing a shift in my emotions.

"Nothing, it's only that you've reminded me of something."

I said with a bitter smile.

Sharing cracks and funny tales was one thing, but when it came to introspection and personal feelings I was quite secluded. I hated being gloomy and speaking of myself in other therms other than those I was used to. It made me feel uncomfortable: I praised myself in being the enthusiastic and funny tool in the stock, not a angst-filled individual.

I unintentionally shrugged, walking my way past him.

_Lets see if today I'll manage to find a purchaser without being constricted to threat someone._

I thought with a grin.

_The most important thing is that I have learned to let it go with a smile._

I was and would forever be a trickster, a funny girl without hidden depths. The past didn't haunt me in the slighest.

Or so i liked to think.


	2. Comings and goings

_First of all, thanks for the rewiews, I really appreciate them. I will respond with an e-mail when i get a bit of free time D: ,This is a pretty introspective chapter, so sorry for those who actually wanted a bit of action, but I promise that from the next chapter we'll start to see the others whereabouts.  
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><p><em>The air in the pullman was thick with tension, as every member besides me averted the gaze from a certain bassist. The only noises audible were the old engine of the carriage and the raindrops that fell at an irregular pace over the dashboard. I was patiently still, waiting for a sign of relaxment.<em>

_Mio was stiff with nervosism, hand shaking over her knees,taking short, fast breaths._

_She was not only a perfectionist at heart, but also one of the most easyingly embarassed people i knew. Heck, she was absolutely the most easyingly ebarassed person i knew._

_So no wonder that she was panicking. When she missed the note, she was already a trainwreck for being forced to sing at our debut performance in a stadium, so there was not really helping it. The idiots at the company pretended her to be the vocalist as they immediately recognized her as the talent of the group. _

_In fact not only Mio was a superb bass player with a beautiful voice and a cool look, she was also capable of composing music and writing texts (that __m__iracolously improved once she had opportunities to actually interact with the other sex). _

_I put my hand on her shoulder, gentilly shaking her. I only hoped she wouldn't break down and cry._

"_Ne Mio, you were great out of there, there's no need to work yourself out! No one actually noticed!On the contrary, didn't you hear the yells of ecouragement at the end?"_

_I tried to assure her._

_ As my action gained no response, I said "Right guys?"_, _searching for support_

_There were all signs of a positive responses, but naturally Mio being Mio and her state of mind being that of a severly frightened young woman, she decided to ignore it and did the most logical thing she could do against someone who was trying to comfort her: she snapped._

_Now i don't remember well what she said, as her voice was continually interrupted by sobs, and I wasn't exactly concerned about her temper tantrum as I was concerned for her well being. So i did the only thing a girl could do in that situation._

_I hugged her._

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><p>If there was a single moment, an individual memory in your life that you can be sure to never forget, what would it be?<p>

Well, for me, it was a 4 years old frame, an image of a winter night in which everything I wanted and everything i did shifted inexorably.

One vivid fantasy from my teenage years was forming a great band and touring the world. I often found myself imagining how the albums sales would go through the roof and how my band and I would acquire millions of fans. The motto was "When we'll play at the Budokan", wasn't it?

At least, that was the fantasy part.

Creating a band is not simple: you need people, talent and a certain amount of chemistry to make the ends meet. Unfortunately there is something else that people wouldn't say: keeping a band together against the odds is actually the most difficult thing. More than writing new songs, more than reharsal, more than lives and demos and everything else.

It's doesn't matter how good of a friend you are or how many hobbies do you share. In the end, making different persons work in perfect symbiosis for years is almost impossible. It's difficult between two lovers, nevermind between five people.

Well, to be honest, it wasn't quite a problem at the beginning. Then, everything was simple: me and Yui would be the troublemakers, Mio would get scared, Azusa would frown upon us and Mugi would serve a piece of pie with a smile on her face.

I was the president for a joke and the ones that were currently running the band were Mio, Nodoka and Sawako.

At times i wonder if this is one of the reasons of why i feel so guilty right now.

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><p><em>-For how long do you plan to hold her back?-<em>

The loud sound of the tune the alarm clock was plaiyng pierced trough my room, earning a groan of protest from my part. The notes of Baba O' Riley flooded the air, as if triyng to soothe me.

I had chosen the track because it was the best song from the best band my agenda, the Who_. _By doing so i triyed to correct my habit of smashing one alarm clock after another while waking up. So far I managed to restrain myself for roughly a month.

It was a new record.

I stood up slowly, and shuffled to the bathroom. After washing and dressing myself i glanced at the clock: my streak of latenes was already long enough, and I was fifteen minutes late.

Hurriyng up I walked out of the apartment, directed to my scooter. I quickly turned on the engine and sped up. I played the slalom trough the motionless vehicles, mentally thanking heaven that I couldn't afford a car.

Thanks to my reckless driving I arrived in a matter of minutes, but the sluice-gate was already open when I finally parked my scooter.

Well waking up was always a particulary difficult task for me, and doing so after a shitty performance in a club was even worse.

Well, calling it a performance was a big stretch...

The fact that after the HTT breakup I decided to join another band was something I often wondered myself, and never found a definitive answer.

Call it need, longing or whatever you like. Fact was, music was definitely going to be part of my life, whether i liked it or not.

I didn't play for months. Then, one evening, almost mesmerized, I approached the semi-dismatled drum set. And I began to play my heart out.

All of the pain, all of the sorrow, all of the regrets, slowly faded away.

It was cathartic. It felt as a weight was pulled off my shoulders, as if I was finally allowed to breath again.

One thing lead to another, and I found myself forming a band with my two coworkers. It wasn't fine, it wasn't dandy, but at least I had something to occupy my mind.

And so here I was , owning a flat with pipes which suffered massive water loss, a salary worth the freeter I was and a guitarist fatter than Timo Tolkki*. And an ass for a bassist.

But hey, we were a power trio

I also accepted to play a genre that was totally alien to me, just to indulge in my needs.

Of course i sucked at it, but I was steadily improving

And a certain someone never ceased to remind it to me.

After almost two hours without a client in sight he began his rambling, while I was taking a break and drinking from a bottle of water, mind you. Kota, the other worker, knowing it better, quickly moved away.

Our verbal battles were something you wouldn't want to meddle with.

His bait was the song passing at the radio, which was,coincidentally, the same we played the previous night

"Bah, your performance is worsening day after day. This is what you get for gaining inspiration from one of the sloppiest drummers in history!"

"Gah" I choked with the water, shocked.

"Don't you dare!" I said snapping, pointing my finger at him "Don't you dare insulting the greatest hard rock drummer in history. He wasn't sloppy, he was a fucking genius. Only because he didn't show up with improbable technicisms doesn't mean he was mediocre. He had some of the fastest chops and made great and original grooves. And don't start me talking about his charisma, heinfluenced a whole generation, it's thank to him if the the heavy-handed drum solo became the norm!"

I concluded, outraged. Keith Moon was my idol and main source of inspiration, insulting him was like triyng to steal food from Yui.

"Wathever float your boat."

He said with a patronising tone, walking his way towards the counter_._

"Don't think we are finished! Why don't we talk about_ your_ influences? About those flashy, pompous idiots that with their overblown suites conclude nothing but bore to death the listener and bring nothing new to music if not some fancy, technical tunel?_"_

"Be quiet, you don't understand even simple music theory, nevermdind judging something such as the value of a musician"

"At least i listen to music which actually has a soul and a purpose, and is not the mere product of a cold process. Music is mainly improvisation, istinct, if you sit down and try to decontruct it its magic fades away!"

"We have already been over this. It's impossible to write something without the mediation of rationality, otherwise you'll only have a bunch of sounds without any harmony in it. This display how you have never composed a song to save your life"

"One thing is razionalization, another thing is the constant and unnecessary use of distortions, technicisms and solos. Being showy and being tawdry are stictly related. And you being a bassist should know that having a rhythm section too complex is going to destruct the groove. All the music you listen to is idle after the rise of Punk 77 and the New Wave."*

"That's not true, just look at jazz."

"I remember you fapping over the last progressive rock album, not over Miles Davis."

"Oh, just shut up!"

He uttered lamely.

I smirked to myself: I had won!_  
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><p>*=guitarist of the power metal band Stratovarius, well he' s fat, just google him XD<p>

*= what Ritsu means require knowing a bit of rock music history. By the 70ies rock became a technical, mainstream genre, wide apart from his wilder, rebellious ancestor; rock'n roll. In its initial form, a lot of 1960 music was innovative and exciting, but after a while it became a standardized, self referential form. Things like hard rock, blues rock and progressive rock reached their limits, or at least this is what the punk movement thought, To break this situation of statis, new groups such as the Stooges (who were the forerunners of punk music) developed musical forms that began to differentiate themselves from the technical conventions of classic rock in favor of expressive forms based more on simplicity, spontaneity and on the impact of the sound. So she's saiyng that progressive rock, whom Kaneda is a fan of, is behind the times and old.


End file.
